Counsellor Approved Strategies for Conflict Resolution in Relationships

Written by: Kristie Burkett, RP-Qualifying, MACP Candidate

In relationships, conflicts are like storms on the horizon – inevitable, sometimes intense, yet manageable with the right approach. Counsellors often have the privilege of guiding individuals and couples through various relationship challenges and as a result, gain invaluable strategies that can help you effectively manage conflicts in your relationships.

Here are tips about how to manage when relational conflict arises:

Talk it Out: The Power of Good Communication

When it comes to conflicts, talking it out is key. But remember, it's not just about talking; it's also about really listening. When you hit a rough patch, take a moment to step back and try to see things from your partner's point of view. And when you express yourself, use "I" statements to share how you feel without pointing fingers. Also, understand that both people need to be in a receptive place to talk. If one person is shut down- it may be time to call a pause in this interaction.

Understanding Goes a Long Way

Empathy and understanding are like relationship superpowers. Put yourself in your partner's shoes, and you'll find that it's easier to get where they're coming from. We all have our unique experiences and perspectives and recognizing that can lead to compassionate conversations.

If you struggle to empathize use this trick:

Being in a position where you would never do or say what the other person has done is hard, BUT we can always connect to a universal feeling. So for example- if an act is done out of fear- we can empathize with the feeling of being scared.

Boundaries: Building Respect

Let's talk boundaries. You can empathize on a feeling and still set a boundary. Establishing clear boundaries is like laying a strong foundation for your relationship. It is important that couples have an open and honest conversation about their individual needs and expectations. This can stop potential conflicts by making sure everyone's on the same page.

Conflict Resolution Skills: Compromise

Think of conflict resolution as an art form. It's about finding that sweet spot where both of you can feel heard and respected. Compromise, finding common ground, and working together to find solutions are skills that can turn conflicts into opportunities for growth. Remember, it's not about winning; it's about finding a win-win solution.

It's Okay to Hit Pause

When emotions run high, it's time for a breather. Taking a time-out during a heated argument is like pressing the pause button. It gives you both a chance to cool off, collect your thoughts, and come back to the conversation with a fresh perspective. This simple practice can save you from saying things you might regret later.

Get a Helping Hand

Sometimes, conflicts can be a bit like a puzzle that's tough to crack on your own. That's where professionals like counsellors and therapists come in. They can offer expert guidance and tailored strategies to help you navigate those tricky spots.

Check-Ins

Lastly, prevention is better than a cure. Regular check-ins are like relationship tune-ups. Have informal chats with your partner about how things are going, what's working, and what could use some improvement. Catching issues early can prevent them from turning into major conflicts.

If you’re unsure how this will go you can start the conversation off like this…

“I just wanted to check in and see how you are feeling about our relationships. I know i’m not perfect, no one is, and I wanted to give you the space to let me know how I can improve. I want to know this because I care about you and this relationship is important to me.”

By starting with yourself this will open the door of vulnerability and create space for a safe conversation without defences. Set the tone, and then share your needs afterwards.

Final Note

Conflict is just a part of relationships. By embracing these tips you'll be better equipped to handle conflicts, strengthen your bond, and keep the love alive. It's not about avoiding conflict altogether; it's about learning to tackle it in a way that brings you closer together.

If you’re looking for support with improving your relationships, book a consultation with a counsellor today and start learning how to put these suggestions into action.

Looking for more relationship support?

Try 7 Signs you have Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships and head over to our Relationships Counselling Page, Couples Counselling Page and our Attachment-Based Therapy Page.